AS SOON as the clock struck six in the evening, my classmate Jamal silently brought out the sandwiches from his bag and eagerly wolfed them down one after the other. He hasn’t had food since four in the morning.

It is the month of Ramadan. Jamal fasts from sunrise until sunset. It makes one wonder how he is able to read all the law cases we need to read, on an empty stomach. He says his body automatically adjusts because he has been doing it for two decades.

He told me Ramadan was the month when the prophet Mohammad received the Qur’an, which is why it is very important to the Muslims. Back home in Iligan City, his family would break their fast together and it would always be a big daily celebration. But here in Manila, he has to do it alone. Sometimes he goes to the Asian Center just across from the UP College of Law to break his fast with fellow Muslim students. But he misses the Maranao delicacies his father would prepare.

I do not have many Muslim friends but having grown up in Mindanao, I think I have more than the average Filipino does. There’s Racmatollah, Amenoden, Aminah, Ali Sidney, Hussein, Suvidah and Jamal whose respective nicknames – Rocky, Amino, Mina, Sid, Coco, Vida and Jamboy – sound like celebrities’ names.

But it was a conscious effort for me to know them. Them. I still remember when my use of “them” (sila or nila) to refer to the Muslims was heavily laden with ignorance and, maybe, even fear. It also usually came with a very strong sense of the unspoken “us, the Christian majority.” Now I can use “them” without the heavy baggage. I use “them” with nothing but respect for them and appreciation for their uniqueness.

I also made a conscious effort to try to understand the so-called peace problem in Mindanao. This brought me to Zamboanga and Basilan to document the peace initiatives there – PAZ-SALAM, Silsilah, Ateneo Peace Institute and Basilan Prelatures’ Inter-religious Dialogue Program.

Almost all of those I interviewed pointed out that at the very root of it, the Mindanao peace problem is really a problem of ignorance that has led to mutual fear and animosity and psychological distance between people. This has to be bridged through interpersonal, cultural, spiritual dialogue.

This basic element, they say, is lamentably lost in the chaotic rush to reach purely political solutions. After all, peace is not only about abstract entities. It is really about individual persons.

Thus, one need not be involved in the sensitive peace negotiations to contribute to peace in Mindanao. (And you don’t have to be from Mindanao to have a stake in its peace.)

Surely, each of us is acquainted with at least one Muslim person. We can contribute to peace by knowing that one person on a personal level. This will reduce the psychological distance.

Given the complexities of the peace-building process and the seemingly endless negotiations, this simplistic way of looking at things may seem naïve. But from personal experience, it has made a lot of sense. The more persons from one group or culture one knows, the better one understands the group. Chipping away at the wall of discrimination and stereotypes breaks it down. It’s a liberating experience to finally see beyond the stereotypes. (I had the same experience in my work with the urban poor.)

Indeed, you can help build peace one person at a time. (For those who have more time, you can search the Internet and choose from among many youth camps and short courses on interfaith/peace building dialogue offered every year.)

This experience usually leads to greater appreciation and sensitivity. When we conducted focus group discussions among copra producers in Mati, Davao Oriental a couple of months ago, my research collaborators made sure there were two prayers at the start of the meetings – one Christian and one Muslim because some of the participants were from Tarragona, a mostly Muslim town. Food also had to be halal food. It was truly admirable of my research collaborators to have considered such things. When you are in the majority, you tend to just take things for granted.

I continue to ask Muslim friends about the things they do differently. It has been a rewarding process. I have been introduced to Maguindanao songs (search Datu Khomenei on YouTube), Muslim poems and best of all, Muslim food! One realizes that beyond such differences are similarities. Fasting during Ramadan, for example, is meant to redirect the heart away from the worldliness and to cleanse the soul. It also allows Muslims to practice self-discipline, sacrifice and empathy for the poor and hungry. That’s exactly what my religion teacher told us in sixth grade.

Some of my Muslim friends are also fans of comedian Eugene Domingo and have watched “Kimmy Dora” more than once!

But more importantly, beyond the differences is also a shared humanity. My Muslim friends in Manila also miss their families during Ramadan the same way I miss mine whenever I spend Christmas away from home. They also adore the youngest or bunso in the family (Jamboy fusses over his youngest brother Amil so much). They also have career concerns (Amino is not sure about continuing his law studies at MSU). They also have problems following their prayer schedule (most of my Muslim friends do). They also have love problems (Coco falls in and out of love very easily but intensely).

I continue to try to educate myself. I still don’t know much about the Muslims, but I know enough to have become very comfortable (for lack of a better word) with them –sufficiently comfortable in fact to have been in a special relationship with one of them before. It didn’t last long not because of religious differences but because of other problems that plague all relationships – from differences in taste in films (I am too jologs) to differences in long-term plans (mine are too long).

Ramadan will end with the Eid’l Fitr that has been declared a national holiday. As we make plans for the coming long weekend, maybe we can pause for a while to think of our Muslim brothers and sisters. Better yet, maybe we can celebrate with them. I might go to Moud Halal in Quiapo. It’s a hole-in-the-wall that has the best grilled chicken in the world. And very affordable too. It is so good it has been featured in an article in the Inquirer. The article hangs framed on one of the karenderia’s walls.

Who’s coming with me?